I've been dealing with lack of sex with another person and my own fantasies for quite a while now. As a person into macrophilia who is not into "furries" or violence or vore, I've found the macrophile community not always to my tastes.
So, I decided, along with my montages, to write. I've been spending time on a big story that tries to appeal to my own interests and fantasies.
I've, also, as recent as this past week, re-discovered poppers. I've been using Rush to fascilitate some sensations in the climax of my fantasies to wonderful effect.
For years, I had avoided poppers because a guy spilled a whole bottle on me and I was terribly sick before I could get home and wash it all off. I didn't think I'd ever get the smell (without the effects) out of my nostrils. I just wasnted to heave.
Well, it seems that now, I'm over my aversion to them and have begun experimenting with them, my writing, my montages and my fantasy self-gratification.
I have posted the first chapter of my story on Cold Fist and decided that it would be a great way to renew my journal. I don't know how many people are into macrophilia out there on LJ, but the few I have on my friends' list, I hope will enjoy or, at least, appreciate my writing.
A friend of mine that I've recently met, that is also into macrophilia, told me of a board called Coiled Fist that caters to this particular fetish.
At first, I was a little excited about seeing what it was about, remembering the old days of diMENsions that was an early version of macro/micro community enthusiasts.
After joining the community, I find that it is, well, less than what I'd hoped for. Most of the stories deal with extreme violence and vore. Most of the enthusiasm from other members deal with the same. I find this very disturbing. I'm sure it's just a reflection of today's culture in the U.S. (has it only been 7 years since the old board?) glorifying violent behavior. It seems since the turn of the millineum everyone has become Tarantio-ized into thinking that extreme violence and bloody death is exciting and a sexual turn on.
I realize that my fascination with my personal fantasies can never be real, but I see these scenarios that are being posted as the equivalent of rape. Some of these stories I've glanced through detail, without regard to life or humanity, extreme scenarios where a person of immense size destroys entire cities along with the people that they jerk off to.
Does this really get these people off? It's frightening to contemplate. It's something akin to the movie Apt Pupil, wherein the boy learning of his Nazi neighbor blackmails him into telling him stories that eventually lead the boy into doing his own atrocious acts. Are these people sexually turned on by the glorification of ultraviolence?
I thought about posting a few questions about this on the board itself, but figured I would meet mostly with snide resistance, as I see with most boards when there is an apparent opposing view.
Then, I remembered that I have my own blog, which I've used little and felt that that would be the best place to write out my thoughts. I think it's probably in my best interest and really would rather just not have much to do with those that are into that kind of behavior, even in fantasy.
I haven't been on here in a long time. Haven't been much inspired lately. A few people have emailed me and asked about updating my webpages, but I just haven't had good quality images that have inspired me to do many new montages. Maybe as the weather gets cooler...
Anyway, I noticed that the American Chopper guys are going to Europe to do some shows or something and the commercials have them depicted as giants, towering over the buildings. There's even a shot of a moped, tiny, at Paul, Sr.'s giant boots. Yeah, I've had a fantasy or two about the AC Guys as giants. Of course, that stopped after I got tired of the bitching each episode. I think Paul, Sr. could definitely use a little six inch guy to jerk him off...
The host for my website seems to be either gone or in some kind of trouble. None of the websites at gayhost4free.com are active. I kind of wish I could have a nice pay site for my little fetish site, but it's just not practical.
So, I've resorted to using the free sex hosting sites, which usually won't let external viewing of pics and have a LOT of popups and ads. gayhost4free.com was at least one that didn't have popups (back when there wasn't such a thing as "popup blocker").
This comedian was on Comedy Central this morning. His name is Sean Cullen; kind of a cute stocky guy. I got in on the middle of his act and he was talking about someone being 18 feet tall and wanting to climb on them and in their hair.
The lone prop on the stage, behind him was a big statue of an ape. At the end of his monologue, he started singing a song about wood, cheese and children. It was funny but what really caught me was him backing up as he was singing. And then he started climbing on the giant ape statue.
He crawled into the ape's arms, singing to it and caressing it. Then, at the end of his song, he kissed it and people clapped. He sat there hugging and leaning his head on the giant ape and I couldn't help but think that he was REALLY enjoying it.
Well, I tried some writing tonight and lost it before I saved it. I have to get into a better habit. Distractions and being tired probably didn't help. Oh well, it's not the first time and it probably won't be the last.
I got onto the diMENsion2 group and checked out some stuff. There's a guy that's selling a video of himself as a naked giant destroying a city. It's kinda neat that he's gone to such lengths to make this video. There's a video clip at www.musclematt.com/dvd/dvd_10_giant_muscle_matt.html It's a shame that he's kept his head hidden under a black hood. I would think his angry face would add to this movie. I'm not into the violent, crushing stuff. But I will still have to give him kudos for doing this. I'm sure there are people out there that will really get off on it.
Not into vore (eating the tiny people) either, so there is very little from these other "creators" that I like. I like stocky men too, so the "giant" twinks will make me lose a full-on chubby VERY fast.
I guess that's why I create my little montages and make my stories. As fetishes go, mine is so very vanilla compared with what I read from others. It's rare that someone writes something that catches my sexual attention.
There are stories out there that, when they are more mild and sensual, seem to DRAG ON FOREVER before anything really interesting happens. I know setting up a story takes some time, but once you're into it, some writers seem to just cock-tease their way in writing and I end up just conjuring up my own scenario and jerking off without them.
Other stories are set in being so degrading and offensive that it really turns my stomach. It also worries me that these people have fetishes about killing other people and it is all set in so much violence and disregard.
I guess I'm just tired and starting to ramble, but I needed to get some of this off my chest. I'd like to post something in the group to ask these people if they really want to destroy and kill like they depict their characters in these stories. Do they truly get off by this violence?
I know that there are people into sadism and masochism and such, but taking it to the level of actually killing someone really worries me.
I remember a Chuck Jones cartoon that was done, probably in the 40s about Tom Thumb. It was called Tom Thumb in Trouble Tom's father was a BIG BEARDED LUMBERJACK. I still remember that little 'toon. I wish I could find it on DVD or CartoonNetwork would play it again.
I know I should be working on something, but it's Thanksgiving and I'm just kinda bored. Bored with t.v. Dinner wasn't much. I guess I'll just look around the web for pics and stuff. Maybe get inspired to do another montage or two.
( Gerald's Bar ) Man, it would be so cool to do a visual story. I've got a couple of those fantasies that would be really neat. I'd be too embarassed to do them all myself and I don't know anyone that'd really want to do a macro-fantasy photoshoot. HA!
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Anyway, I noticed that the 
